


The One Where Superman Doesn’t Realize He is Dating Batman

by peacelight



Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M, batfam, post superman death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-22
Updated: 2018-09-22
Packaged: 2019-07-14 17:37:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16045310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peacelight/pseuds/peacelight
Summary: Clark Kent lived an ordinary life, and he liked it that way. He was perfectly content in the background. And even though Superman was one of the most recognizable heroes in the world, he was just a straightforward guy. Nothing out of the ordinary ever really happened to him. Clark was able to predict almost every event in his personal life.Yet somehow his life changed considerably without him even realizing it.It all started on the Watchtower.





	The One Where Superman Doesn’t Realize He is Dating Batman

Clark loved watching Batman in the tower. It was so interesting, he was trying so hard to publicly keep everyone at arm's length, but he couldn’t fool anyone. It was clear he knew everything that was happening in everyone's life, and not just because he was Batman, but because he cared.

Batman was always first to check how that sick relative was doing or to see how that new self defense move was going. Need a costume upgrade? Batman already has three designs in the works. For a man who said he was a loner, Batman sure did care about a lot of people. Clark loved constantly reminding Bruce he was the most popular league member. 

Clark knew he had been head over heels in love with Bruce for years. His feelings just creeped up on him one day and since then Clark had just accepted them as a constant. After all how could he not love Bruce, his partner, his friend. Clark was also aware that Bruce didn’t love him back. The potential for romance was there as Bruce was quite open about how he was attracted to all types of people and aliens. But attraction was almost always all Bruce was able to handle. He avoided anyone who he could possibly have a relationship with. Clark knew the second Bruce figured out Clark had feelings for him, he would slowly try to discourage him. Clark was sure telling Bruce was not an option. His heart couldn’t take it, but he still wanted to spend more time with Bruce, just as Clark and Bruce. Clark couldn’t let go of the hope of one day. 

Batman spooked easily. Even after years of fighting side by side, he was still skittish when Clark approached him about just personal business. But Clark knew that Bruce cared about him. He had complete access to the Batcave, he was one of two league members that ever really ventured into Gotham, and, of course, Clark knew that Bruce was Batman. Batman safeguarded his identity so fiercely, not to protect himself but to protect others. The original seven weren’t allowed to reveal who they were to others. Clark could remember the meeting like it was yesterday. 

So many junior league members were up in arms, they felt as if they were left out. Batman was not one to let a meeting get out of hand, especially because of a Lantern. 

Batman stood up so firmly and said, ‘every villain wants to be the one to take down one if not all the original members, but it is common knowledge that even other members don’t know our identities, this protects you more than it protects us. Do you want to have a target on your back that’s the size of Superman? You get tortured enough about your business you don’t want someone torturing you to figure out who Superman is?’ 

Clark had wanted to laugh as if he was the biggest target of the league, as if it wasn’t Bruce that was the biggest threat. Bruce sure had command of room then, and even now, Batman emanated control and leadership. 

Clark just knew in his bones friendship wasn’t enough, that they could be different...better even. He just had to move things forward...somehow. 

Clark hadn’t really thought past the first step, but he had to start somewhere, spending time with Bruce regardless was a plus. Clark was always happier with him than without him. They had done it more and more since Clark had come back from the dead, but still, it was always after a mission or just on the Watchtower, Clark wanted more normal events...he knew he’d have to ask though. 

“Any reason you’re staring at Bats again?” Barry asked. 

Clark hated being snuck up on, and the fact he was Superman meant that it was very rare. He really had to be distracted.

“I’m not staring at anyone.” Clark said knowing full well this wasn’t the end of the conversation. 

“Sure, sure,” Barry laughed. “Why are you looking with all your focus at Batman, so hard that I was able to get right next to you without you noticing, then?” 

Clark sighed. “I’m walking away now, Flash.” 

“Have fun not staring at Batman!” Barry shouted, clearly loud enough for Batman to hear.

If Clark didn’t love Barry so much, he’d sure be annoyed by the kid. 

Batman walked over to him, no indication that he heard, let alone cared that Barry said Clark had been staring. Hell, Clark was sure that Bruce was already aware that he had been staring. 

“Superman,” Batman started, stoic as ever. “Something on your mind?”

Clark rubbed his neck, a nervous Clark Kent habit; despite being suited up, his personal ticks never quite disappeared all together. Super spy he was not. 

“Oh, nothing, really, I was actually wondering, no, hoping that you wanted to grab coffee with me?” Clark put on his best smile, the one his Ma said that no one in their right mind could turn down. Lois always said dimples could bring any man to his knees. 

“Coffee, really?” Bruce said. If it was anyone but Batman, Clark would think that the tone conveyed slight nerves. Clark was sure Bruce was just confused. 

“Well, yeah, we have been spending a lot of time together recently, and it's been pretty amazing.” Clark didn’t want to beat around the bush, he wanted Bruce to know that he was his friend, and that meant spending time outside of costumes was mandatory. “I think we have finally progressed past just crime fighting duo, we should take the next step.”

“Which is coffee?” Batman said.

Clark wanted to laugh. Man, could Bruce not handle social situations sometimes, he was so obtuse in certain cases. “Well it's a possible step, it gets us out of these costumes, and lets us be together just as two guys, you know. I mean I am up for other things, but coffee is a classic.” 

Batman frowned for a moment, and that made Clark hesitate, maybe he had read the situation wrong, and late night Gotham rooftop chats were just that. Or more likely he had pushed friendship on Bruce too fast. It looked like Bruce was weighing the pros and cons, Clark couldn’t imagine what cons Bruce had come up with. 

But then Batman smiled, a soft smile, Clark wasn’t used to that smile very often, it was mostly reserved for the batkids, or when Barry did something unbelievably cute. It was so endearing 

“Coffee it is, then. I’ll let you know when some time frees up this weekend?” 

Clark beamed he wanted to do a little fist pump, but that would just weird Bruce out, and he’d probably back out.

“Fantastic, can’t wait. You can pick a good spot, since you know Gotham like the back of your hand. I can just meet you at the manor.”

Batman nodded, and walked away back to being full on business mode. 

*** 

Clark stood in front of his bedroom window in Metropolis, he was on the phone with Lois, telling her about the fact he was grabbing coffee with Bruce. Despite Batman’s no telling identities rule, Lois knew everyone's. Clark had reasoned with Bruce because if he didn’t tell Lois, she would have investigated on her own and found out, which would have been a bigger problem for Bruce. Lois didn’t let anything stop her from finding the truth. 

“I don’t know where we are going, Lois, I trust him to pick a good spot in Gotham,” Clark responded. 

“Well, I mean, you asked him, it's customary for you to have picked the spot, that’s all I’m saying,” Lois retorted on the phone. 

“Please, I know Bruce, the more control you give him, the better,” Clark laughed.

Lois laughed with him, which was a positive sign Clark thought. “Well, as long as you know when to take the lead, that's all that matters.”

“Don’t worry, Lois, it's just coffee, I’ll be fine,” Clark mumbled. “Anyways, I gotta get to the manor.” 

Clark climbed out of the fire escape, and scanned as always to see if anyone was in the alley below. When he didn’t see anyone around, he took off his shirt and pants, stuffed them in his bag, and took off. 

Clark slowed down and settled right in front of the manor. He was careful to land so as not to disturb even the smallest of the flowers. Clark knew the amount of effort that went into maintaining the grounds, he was not about to get on Alfred's bad side now. He had finally gotten to Master Clark, instead of Master Kent. 

Not as gracefully, Clark put on his pants, and began to button his shirt. Contrary to popular belief Clark didn’t purposely wrinkle his clothes for his Clark Kent persona, they were just a byproduct of the fact he stuffed all of his clothes in his bag for when he was Superman. 

Clark finished buttoning up his shirt, and after two failed attempts to get out any of the wrinkles, he knocked on the door. But he was sure that Bruce knew he was there from the moment he touched down. 

Surprisingly, though, it was Bruce that opened the door. Bruce was not in any way disheveled. His shirt was perfectly pressed, and his pants the height of fashion, his shoes cost more than Clark could make in a month. He looked the picture of billionaire playboy. 

“Just on time, Clark.” Bruce smiled. “You look good.” 

Clark was sure Bruce was teasing him, and laughed. “You look perfect, as always.”

Bruce smiled slightly, and nodded. Bruce clearly knew he looked perfect. 

Bruce led the way to one of his many cars. “Mind if I drive? I don’t really plan on flying anywhere today.”

“Not a problem, where are we going?” Clark asked. 

Bruce slid into the driver's seat. “This little cafe near Wayne Enterprises, it's a nice quiet spot in the city, makes a mean apple pie, which I know you love.”

Clark loved when Bruce paid attention to small things. “I am sure it’s good for Gotham, but nothing beats Kansas pie.” 

Normally, Bruce would defends Gotham’s pie, but instead he chuckled quietly. “You will need to prove that to me one day.”

Clark was ecstatic, he had always wanted to take Bruce to Kansas for something non league or his death related. “Count on it.”

Clark fiddled with the radio, while Bruce drove far above the speed limit. They had been partners for so long that they were so comfortable in each others silence. 

They arrived at the cafe, far faster than they should’ve. 

“Don’t you ever worry that you draw too much attention with your driving?” Clark asked. 

“Please, as a billionaire with sports cars, if I drove the speed limit, it would be the news story.” Bruce smirked. 

“I bet you say that because you're incapable of driving reasonably,” Clark laughed, as he got out. 

“I always drive reasonably, farm boy,” Bruce laughed. 

The pair walked into the cafe. Clark was expecting a lot of head turns, but no one really noticed. Clark assumed it was because Bruce did come here often. It was right next to his office. 

They settled into a booth in the back. After they ordered their coffees and pie.

Clark was glad that the conversation moved beyond the basics of small talk. Bruce was surprisingly open. Whenever Clark asked a question about Alfred, or the kids, or just what Bruce liked, he would answer. It was so nice to have Bruce so relaxed for once. 

Bruce just finished telling a story of how Dick would always climb the big backyard tree as a kid, and when he saw Damian do the same thing, he nearly had a fit, saying how unsafe it was. Bruce was always the most sincere talking about his kids. 

“Did you remind Dick that he used to do the same thing?” Clark smiled along, 

“Of course, but that didn’t calm him down, he went on about how it's different cause the tree is older now and it has to be more brittle, and that I should watch Damian more closely he is just a child. Never mind when he was ten, Dick felt like he was ready to face the whole criminal underworld, and I had to constantly hold him back.” Bruce smiled fondly at the memory of easier times. 

“They grow fast, huh?” Clark noted. 

“They do.” Bruce smiled, it reached his eyes, and there was such a twinkle in them, Clark wished he could freeze this expression on Bruce’s face. It was who he was behind all of his various masks. 

Clark was forced back into reality, when Bruce’s phone went off. 

Bruce sighed and pulled it out. Gone was his smile. In its place was a harder expression that only meant trouble.

“Bat business?” Clark asked. 

Bruce nodded. 

“Don’t worry, we can pick this up another time.” Clark smiled. Out of costume bonding was too amazing to not be repeated. 

“That sounds nice.” Bruce smiled. Bruce pulled out his wallet, Clark waved him off. “I invited you out, and I am pretty sure I can afford some coffee and pies.”

“Fine, but next time is my treat.” Bruce responded. 

“Then we definitely should do dinner.” Clark laughed. 

“Done. I’ll text you.” Bruce smiled and moved forward, leaning in. Clark instantly froze, was Bruce Wayne actually going in for a hug? But his phone buzzed before Clark could find out. 

Bruce groaned. “Next time.”

Clark watched as Bruce rushed out, pleased at how well the night had gone. 

*** 

Clark was sitting at his desk at the Planet, not really working, just re-reading an article he had finished. Clark hated the waiting part of journalism, there wasn’t much he could do for his next story until his source got back to him. 

His phone buzzed, Clark looked to see who it was. Better than his source, it was Bruce. 

Bruce: Sorry our night got cut short again. I was hoping to take you to dinner tmw night if you are free?

Clark was euphoric, he didn’t even need to remind Bruce, Bruce wanted to hang out again all on his own!

Clark: Sure sounds like a plan, I am done work around 6:00pm, I can be in Gotham around 6:15?

Bruce: I thought I’d come to your city this time. I will pick you up at the planet, wear something nice.

“Texting your boyfriend Kent?” Lois approached, smirking at him. 

Clark laughed. “No, just Bruce, we’re grabbing dinner tomorrow.”

Clark: Just how nice are we talking, I think our definitions vary.

“So why are you smiling so much?” Lois asked.

“I just like that I don’t have to push anymore, I think Bruce actually likes spending time with me. It’s a good feeling.” Clark wondered why Lois was smiling like that, she always looked like she knew more than him, which was normally the case, but still. 

“Okay, Smallville, have fun at your not date with Bruce.” Lois walked off, she probably had a million things to do for her stories anyways. 

Bruce: Nothing wrinkled and a tie, but don’t worry you always look great, even in off the rack.

Clark: Well I will try to look my best, since I have to be seen with the Prince of Gotham, you always look like you stepped off the pages of a magazine. 

“Kent, if that isn’t story related, I am going to throw your phone out a window!” Perry yelled, he had popped his head of his office for his mid morning screaming fit.  
Clark: Got to focus Perry’s looking for his daily target, can’t wait to see you tmw.

Bruce: Have a good day at work Clark :)

Clark couldn’t believe that Bruce texted him an emoji. But then again, the man had teenagers he was probably better versed in emojis than he was, after all it was just a smiley face. Clark had to get over the idea of Batman texting a smiley face, he would burst out laughing in the middle of the Planet, and Perry would kill him for sure. 

The next day Clark brought a change of clothes with him to work, he wasn’t going to risk letting his shirt get wrinkled if there was a surprise Superman emergency. Knowing Bruce this restaurant was going to be super fancy, and not a place that they’d respond well to dishevelled Clark Kent. 

Thankfully, no supervillain, or regular criminal decided to mess up the day for Clark. At 6:00pm on the dot Bruce in a different but equally expensive car pulled up. 

It looked like Bruce was about to get out, but Clark just got in. 

“I’m starving, been looking forward to this dinner all day.” Clark smiled at Bruce, who did indeed look like he had gotten his outfit out of the pages of Vogue. 

“Why Mister Kent you do clean up nice.” Bruce said after he gave him a once over. The way Bruce looked at him, Clark couldn’t deny he got a little hot under the collar. Clark always seemed to be reminded that Bruce was indeed attractive, the man oozed sex appeal, and Clark wasn’t above being affected. He wondered how Bruce was able to always be so potent? 

“Why, thank you, Mister Wayne.” Clark laughed, hoping he wasn’t blushing. He had done his best to always keep his attraction to himself, he was not prepared to always be teased about this by his best friend. Not until he was certain that Bruce thought of him in more than just a friendship way, and right now, Clark knew it was a pipe dream. 

“The reservation is for six thirty, at the Plaza,” Bruce smiled. “I also have a room there for the night.” 

“Of course you do, you know you are always welcome at my place.” Clark reminded Bruce, though he couldn’t imagine Bruce crashing on his couch, it seemed too crazy. 

“That’s good to know.” Bruce smiled, there was a certain intensity in his eyes Clark couldn't quite place.

Bruce shouldn’t have been able to make the reservation but even in Metropolis traffic he was somehow able to do the impossible. 

The valet opened the door for Bruce. 

“Evening, Mr. Wayne, everything is ready for you.” 

Clark wanted to laugh, he couldn’t imagine the kind of connections Bruce had. It still floored him that Bruce risked all the luxury in the world to help people, he put his life on the line, when he could live like a King. Hell he probably could live better than royalty. 

Clark looked at the Plaza Hotel, it was beautiful. 

Clark felt Bruce’s hand on his back guiding him in. Bruce was never one for patience. 

“Don't worry I am not that distracted.” Clark said to Bruce. 

Bruce just chuckled in Clark’s ear. “I just want to get you all to myself.”

They sat down at a table in the corner, it was gorgeous. Clark knew he’d never be able to afford even an appetizer here. 

“I knew you’d pick a place where if you have to ask how much it is you can’t afford it.” Clark laughed. 

“I wanted to treat you to something special.” Bruce smiled. “Is that so bad?” 

Clark’s heart swelled, “Not at all, I have been thinking about this meal all day.”

The meal was amazing, Clark really didn’t understand the complexities of the wine and veal pairing, but he knew that he liked it. The conversation was so wonderfully normal, Clark was having the time of his life. Clark talked about the stories he was working on at the planet, how his friends in Kansas were doing, the funny things Perry had yelled at people that week. Bruce told him how the board at Wayne Enterprises was hounding him as always, the fact his kids were driving him crazy, and the newest charity Bruce had decided to spearhead. 

“Did you enjoy yourself Clark?” Bruce asked, as they finished up this fantastic French dessert that Clark couldn’t even pronounce. 

“Of course, Bruce, this was fantastic.” Clark smiled. 

“Good, Alfred was worried I was picking a place you wouldn’t like, but I told him that I am a grown man that can pick a place for a dinner date.” Bruce chuckled. It always amused Clark that no matter how old Bruce got, Alfred always treated him as if he was still 12 years old. He was the only man in the world who could get away with it. 

Wait, did Bruce say this was a date?

“Alfred was teasing you about this being a date too, it must be going around. Lois was on my case for a few about you as well.” Clark laughed. 

“Yes, well you think that’s bad, when my kids find out we are dating, they’re going to have a field day,” Bruce stated, so matter of fact that Clark felt his brain short circuit comically. 

“What do you mean, when they find out we are dating?” Clark spluttered. 

“Don’t worry, Clark, they won’t threaten you too much, but they are going to find out, hiding who Bruce Wayne is dating is a lot of work, it seems unnecessary at this point. I was thinking we have a family dinner of some kind, that way it's out of the way.” Bruce took a sip of his wine. 

Clark just sat there for a moment, what was going on, was Bruce playing some joke on him? Did he find out about his crush, and didn’t understand this wasn’t funny?

“We are dating?” Clark asked again. 

Bruce raised an eyebrow. “What else do you call this? Really, Clark, I didn’t think you were the kind of guy that was scared by labels, especially those as simple as dating.” 

Clark was working double time to control his features, he didn’t want to convey the internal panic he was currently experiencing. “First off, I have no fear of labels, I am perfectly fine with labels, in fact, I love labels.”

“Good, so why are you freaking out right now?” Bruce asked, he was clearly amused. 

“When did we start dating?” Clark took a deep calming breath. 

“When you asked me out, and I said yes,” Bruce explained slowly as if to a child. 

“Was I there?” Clark asked because he swore he would remember asking Bruce Wayne out on a date!

“Clark, are you serious right now?” Bruce laughed. “You asked me out for coffee.”

“Yes, coffee?” Clark repeated. 

“You wanted to see me out of the costume,” Bruce airquoted. “Everyone knows asking someone out for coffee is a universal metaphor for I’d like to bone in the future.” 

“I didn’t,” Clark muttered. “I thought coffee was just coffee.”

Thinking back, Clark realized he was the one that was obtuse. 

“I can’t believe I didn’t realize I asked you out.” Clark felt so defeated, like his carefully laid plan of first friendship, then gradually testing the waters to see if Bruce was even interested, and then maybe, maybe, asking him out was completely out of the water. So, it wasn’t a good plan but still. 

Bruce didn’t look amused anymore, he looked worried. “Wait, did you not want to ask me out?” 

“Of course I wanted to ask you out, but I also wanted to be aware of the fact I did. Like I always complain that you can’t read social situations, and yet here I am on our second date, and didn’t even realize it.” Clark huffed. 

Bruce cracked and laughed, a good loud laugh, he so rarely let go that often. 

“Haha, laugh it up, Wayne.” Clark mumbled. This was great, he was never going to live this down. 

“I mean, this is hilarious, but you are a great date without knowing you’re on a date, what's Clark Kent like when he does know that?” Bruce was still chuckling. 

You know, if it made Bruce this happy, Clark was perfectly fine with it, he loved making Bruce laugh regardless of what he was laughing at. 

“Well, I always walk my date home, and there are always flowers involved,” Clark began, which made Bruce chuckle more. 

“Classics, of course, I should have been tipped off from the start,” Bruce smiled. 

“I am a classic man,” Clark stated without any shame. 

“That’s good to know,” Bruce smirked. Bruce reached out and held Clark’s hand, stroking it softly. “As it turns out boy scouts are my type, especially the ones who are so charming that they don’t realize it.” 

Clark smiled. “Bruce Wayne would you like to go out on another date with me?” 

“Who says this one is over?” Bruce chuckled. 

Bruce raised his other hand, signalling for the check. 

“I have plenty of plans for tonight remember.” Bruce’s electrifying smirk, made Clark very glad he hadn’t know this was a date, he would have worried too much and not enjoyed what was the most normal feeling in the world: spending time with Bruce. 

***

Clark opened his eyes slowly, for a brief second he didn’t recognize where he was, and then he realized he was in the plaza hotel. Clark closed his eyes immediately, afraid it was all a dream. 

The way Bruce kissed him, so gentle, unimaginable hands that could cause such pain could grant such pleasure. The way Bruce laughed as he had taken his glasses off. The slow, but powerful fall into ecstasy between the two of them. 

Clark was almost sure it was a dream, except for the fact that he had accidentally asked out Bruce, it was so ridiculous that Clark knew it must have happened. 

Clark let his sense absorb the room, he could smell Bruce, hear his heartbeat, his footsteps meant that he was already awake. There was the smell of coffee, and eggs. And the soft hum of a laptop. Of course Bruce was working, the man had no concept of sleeping in. He heard the dip of a couch cushion. 

“Good morning.” Clark moaned softly. He finally opened his eyes properly 

“He’s awake, finally,” Bruce said, lounging on the sofa across from the bed. Clark didn’t think he had seen a more beautiful sight; Bruce wearing an unbuttoned shirt, and black boxer briefs, sipping coffee, with disheveled hair. 

“I could get used to waking up to such a gorgeous view.” Clark smiled. Perfectly content in this moment. 

Bruce looked at him so intently. “Hopefully you do get used to it.”

Clark laughed. “I can’t believe we are dating.” 

“Well, we are.” Bruce said matter of factly, as he walked over to Clark, smiling as he leaned down and kissed him. 

Clark moaned into the kiss.

“Even better than the view,” he murmured slowly as Bruce pulled away. 

“Not to cut the moment short or anything, but don’t you have a day job that you can get fired from for being late?” Bruce asked innocently. 

Clark panicked. Shit, shit, shit, the clock showed he had 3 minutes to get to work. 

Without even thinking, Clark super sped to the shower, and grabbed his clothes as quickly as he could. In 45.9 seconds he was ready to go. 

“That was very amusing.” Bruce chuckled softly. Clark just huffed, not everyone was their own boss. “Are you always this disorganized?”

“Well, sorry, my first priority wasn’t setting an alarm last night, I do have to run though.” Clark stated, he had to fly home and grab some additional papers before he went into the office. 

“Just so you know, the planet is one of the papers I own, you have job security.” Bruce laughed as he turned back to his laptop. 

Clark just rolled his eyes, he was pretty sure Bruce bought as many companies that league members were employed at as he could, just so no one would lose their job on account of their extra curricular activities, not that they knew that it was Bruce Wayne keeping them from being fired. 

“Oh, and yes to that family dinner, I don’t want this to be another secret to keep.” Clark said before he flew out the window, fast enough that no human would be able to see him. 

\--0--

Clark made into work just in time. He couldn’t keep the giant smile off his face, he was just so happy. Everything in his life seemed to be working out perfectly. He had gotten the man he loved to date him by accident, that man who always seemed to run the other way from emotional entanglements was the one who was moving the relationship forward. Everything seemed perfect. 

The elevator doors opened, and every head turned. Clark had a initial moment of panic, he was out, everyone knew he was Superman.

“Dude, are you boning Bruce fucking Wayne?”

Clark felt a sigh of relief come on, it wasn’t that bad, wait….how did people already know?

“I...wait….what?” Everyone was staring which meant this wasn’t a joke, how did people already know?

“GET BACK TO WORK!” Perry shouted. “AND KENT IN MY OFFICE NOW!”

Clark wondered if dating the technical boss could actually get him in trouble with his real boss. 

“Umm...hi Perry...Good morning.” Clark tried to smile. 

Perry was sitting behind his desk, already annoyed at him. 

“Do you know how annoying it is to get scooped in the gossip section?” Perry asked. 

“Um...do you really care?” Clark asked. Perry never gave a damn about gossip, he always said you could make something up in an hour so it wasn’t news worth his attention.

“Well I do care Kent! I care very much when the competition finds out that Clark Kent, a Daily PLANET REPORTER, MY REPORTER, IS DATING BRUCE WAYNE!” 

Wow Clark thought, if he wasn’t getting reamed this would be pretty funny. Who reported that they were dating? 

“Just quickly, how do you know we are dating?” Clark asked timidly. 

The question clearly pissed Perry off more. “You idiots went to the Plaza, and never left, his car is still there! Every gossip reporter knows when Wayne comes to town, you looked like a fucking romcom come to life!” 

“In my defense Perry, I didn’t know we were dating till last night either, so I couldn’t really have given anyone the scoop.” Clark saw Perry roll his eyes. 

“Are you shitting me, Kansas?” Perry asked. 

“Look I hadn’t realized I had asked him out, we were friends after all, but if you want an exclusive or something, I am sorry but I won’t use Bruce for a story. You know me, Perry, so if that’s all, I have a source to vet.” Clark said. 

Despite Perry’s many tirades at Clark’s expense, he and Perry were friends. 

“I know Kent, if he breaks your heart, I’ll rip him a new one, even if he owns the damn place.” Perry mumbled. “Just don’t let Cat get scooped again,just text her or something,or else she will have my balls.”

Clark laughed. “I’ll do my best.”

Clark walked out to the bullpen everyone was staring, but he ignored them and went to work. 

He stealth texted Bruce 

Clark: Cat’s out of the Bag, everyone knows we are dating

Bruce: I saw, and it looks like TMZ knew we were dating before you did

Clark: Har Har Bruce, we can deal with everything later I have story to finish, xx

Bruce: I knew you’d be the kind of guy to text xx, its adorable, have a good day x

Clark laughed, even if Bruce teased him, he reciprocated. 

As the day went by, the stares died down. Clark knew they were all whispering about him, but he could easily tune it out. 

Clark could almost pretend things were normal until the elevator opened and Dick Grayson walked through the door. 

Dick was instantly recognizable. The first child Bruce Wayne ever adopted, the heir to the Wayne fortune turned cop. Despite, Dick’s lowkey life, he was still a Wayne. Heads turned when he entered a room. 

Clark was instantly worried, was Bruce okay. The moment he heard Dick’s heartbeat, perfectly steady, he calmed down. 

Dick walked right over to Clark, more serious then Clark was used to. Dick loved him, Clark knew that: the boy had Superman underwear, for crying out loud. 

“I would like to talk to you Clark,” Dick stated, so business like that Clark was more than slightly confused. 

“Sure Dick.” Clark nodded and led Dick to the rough top, away from prying eyes of the Planet reporters. 

“What brings you to Metropolis?” Clark asked. 

“Well, Clark, that's really simple.” Dick said. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” Clark asked. 

“Bruce of course, now that there is a change in your relationship, certain things have to be made clear,” Dick stated. 

“Wait, are you here to threaten me?” Clark asked, smiling. Bruce had warned him. 

“Threatening is so aggressive, just a warning really.” Dick stated. 

“Seriously.” Clark laughed.

“Did I ever tell you the story about the first time Bruce talked about you?” Dick asked, now fully staring into Clark’s eyes. He had the Bat stare down pat, Clark thought. 

“No.” Clark said. “But considering how our first few meetings went, I can bet it wasn’t pleasant.” 

“He talked about how much of a threat you were, and that you could destroy the world on a whim,” Dick said cooly. “I thought you could do no wrong, but I was still a kid.” 

“Well, I hope recent events have changed your view of me.” Clark said awkwardly, this was less cute. 

“I am not a kid anymore, Clark. I know that Bruce isn’t perfect,” Dick stated. “But one thing he does better than anyone is train. He trained me to be able to take down any opponent, he entrusted me with every contingency he has.” 

Shit, Clark thought, Bruce was one of the few people that could probably kill him, and he passed down that knowledge clearly... 

“Dick, do you really think I would hurt Bruce?” Clark asked. 

Dick shrugged. “All I know is that despite everything, I won’t let Bruce get hurt, and whenever he puts his heart out there, that tends to happen.”

“Well, I am pretty damn good at protecting things, I will do everything I can to keep him, and his heart, safe, as always.” Clark saw the flash of trust, and sighed in relief, Clark had a feeling that threatening anyone that was serious with Bruce was just a tradition. 

“I’m sure you will, Clark, but just know this, Bruce can’t keep his nose out of our lives, and we return the favor, so this is a friendly reminder that I was always Bruce’s best student.” Dick flashed the signature Wayne smirk. 

Clark sighed. Bruce clearly taught the kid how to threaten effectively. 

“When you say our lives, does this mean I can expect threats from the rest of you Bats?” Clark huffed. 

“Come on, Clark, you knew what you were getting into.” Dick laughed at him. “The only people allowed to hurt Bruce are in the family, he’s off limits to everyone else. This was a gentle reminder.”

“Well, it’s nice to see that you clearly love Bruce a lot,” Clark sighed. “I just hope you do know that I am not going to hurt him.”

Dick laughed. “I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings Clark. I guess I just worry about the old man. But I think finally going out with you was the smartest thing he has done in years, I am going to remind him not fuck this up too.”

Clark wondered if any of the Bats could do things casually. 

“Buck up Clark, friendly warnings are all part of being a part of the family.” Dick slapped him on the back as he exited. 

Clark sighed, he had a feeling this wasn’t the last threat of the day. But he was happy that he was a part of the family. 

Clark pulled out his phone and called Bruce. 

Bruce picked up on the third ring. “Hello, Bruce Wayne speaking.” 

“Hi Bruce, just thought I’d let you know your son came here today and basically threatened to spear me with Kryptonite if I hurt you, just the way you taught him.” Clark laughed, god sometimes he forgot how much Dick was like Bruce. 

“I see,” Bruce stated cryptically. “I did teach him to kill you but that was before I knew you, if that helps.”

“Bruce I know that, the more important thing here is apparently, I should expect all of your many children to threaten me.” Clark stated. 

“They tend to do that, it drove Selina crazy.” Bruce chuckled slightly. “But I am sure Superman can handle a few kids that like to embarrass their dad.” 

“I think you should teach them that most kids show embarrassing pictures not threaten murder,” Clark stated. “Not that I am telling you how to parent.”

“Noted,” Bruce responded, “But I want them to be creative.”

“Sure don’t want to quash that murderous instinct,” Clark moaned. “Especially when it’s not aimed at you.”

“Don’t worry about it, I doubt anyone will hurt you for real, they know who you are,” Bruce stated. “But I will let them know threatening you isn’t necessary.” 

“Thanks.” Clark sighed, that was the best he was going to get. “But it is cute how much your kids protect you.”

“Bye, Clark” Bruce stated. 

“You’re cute too.” Clark laughed as Bruce hung up on him. Threatening murder was fine, but acknowledging that you loved each other, that was too much for the Wayne crowd. 

*** 

Clark had to deal with even more whispers and looks. Dick’s appearance had fanned the flames. Clark opened the Daily Planet Website, and there was his own paper reporting on his love life, mentioning how ‘Wayne’s infamous Ward paid the mild mannered reporter a visit, confirming the serious nature of the relationship.’ 

Clark looked at Perry’s office, he must be glad he wasn’t scooped this time. Clark sighed, and saw Lois walk over, no one would dare fuck with her, for that Clark was glad. 

“Please protect me from my so called colleagues” Clark moaned. 

“I can’t and you should know better than to let Dick Grayson visit.” Lois laughed. 

“Do you think I asked, he came to warn me not to break Bruce’s heart, or else.” Clark rolled his eyes. 

“Was it effective?” Lois asked. 

Clark thought about how many ways Bruce had planned to kill him, he was pretty sure with the metric ton of Kryptonite he had stashed around, Dick would be able to finish what Bruce started. “To be honest, Lois, the kid could probably take me out.” 

“And Dick’s the one that likes you the most.” Lois laughed. “You will have to give me details about this date, like all of them, we haven’t had a good old fashioned bitch session in a while. How about next week, we get wine and greasy food?” 

“Perfect,” Clark smiled, what would he do without Lois Lane. “If Bruce’s kids let me live till then.” 

“I am sure you can take it Clark,” Lois smiled, and headed back to her desk. 

Why did neither Bruce or Lois take this seriously, Clark thought. Bruce’s kids had a penchant for causing maximum damage, even as Superman, Clark was sure that he did not have the upper hand. 

Clark ducked out the parking garage, and cheated by using superspeed to avoid the reporters that were now interested in him. 

Clark opened his front door, glad there were no reporters at his place. 

Instantly he knew he wasn’t alone. 

“Jason, I know you are here.” Clark sighed, the next kid up. No matter how many times Jason said he hated Bruce, and the entire family, here he was up next to remind Clark that being superhuman was no defense. 

Jason came out in full Red Hood gear. Prepared, as always. 

“How you doing Kent?” Clark wanted to laugh at how absurd this was but that would just annoy Jason more. 

“Good, and yourself?” Clark asked. “Clearly having no problems breaking and entering.”

“Not really high on my list of worries.” Jason smirked 

“I have cookies if you’d like some?” Clark asked, might as well have snacks while Jason threatened to murder him if he ever hurt Bruce. 

“Anyone else and I’d say you are being condescending, but not sincere country charmer Clark Kent.” Jason rolled his eyes, and didn’t say no. 

Clark went into the kitchen grabbed some cookies put them on a plate, and for good measure poured two cups of milk. 

“Make yourself more at home, than you already have Jason!” Clark hollered. 

When Clark was back in the living room, Jason was sitting on his sofa, it was so comical, all that armor, but his eyes still light up at the cookies, and he had no problem pigging out on them. 

“So, not that I am not happy to see you, but you don’t have to worry about ensuring that I know not to hurt Bruce, Dick already got that covered.” Clark knew it was pointless, but he was hopeful that maybe somehow the kids would take pity on him. 

“Please, Grayson has been obsessed with you longer than Bruce has,” Jason huffed. 

“How long has Bruce been obsessed?” Clark asked. “Just out of curiosity.”

Jason just rolled his eyes. 

“These cookies were good, but we should get down to business.” Jason smirked, they all had that same signature I am going to fuck you up smile.

“I thought Bruce was going to talk to you,” Clark sighed. 

“He sent an email it was hilarious.” Jason pulled out his phone and showed him. 

Clark couldn’t help but chuckle. The email Bruce had sent had the subject line ‘no threatening my boyfriend’ and the content was just please. 

“Now, that is not as effective as this is going to be.” Jason stated. 

“Okay, then, Red Hood.” Clark looked back at Jason. 

“Look, the Old Man is an asshole, and watching him be heartbroken is hilarious, but sadly, as a Bat, can’t have the good name soiled, you know,” Jason started. 

Clark cut him off. “More like you all love each other but just can’t admit it. But okay.”

Jason glared at him. “Please, this is about professional rep.”

“Can we please get to threatening, your milk is getting warm,” Clark fretted. 

Jason while still directly staring into Clark’s eyes, chugged the entire cup of milk. Clark thought that was a tad excessive and in no way a display of dominance, as he was sure it was meant to be, but he didn’t want to hurt Jason’s feelings. 

“As I was saying, Dick doesn’t have the guts to fill your apartment with Kryptonite and watch you die, and then launch your body into the sun for good measure, but me, I don’t have a weak constitution, and don’t mind doing the dirty work.” Jason smiled. 

Clark scanned his apartment. Sure enough, on his pillow was a lead lined boxed. So Jason brought ammo with him to illustrate his point. He was going to have to talk to Bruce about securing his stash of Kryptonite. 

“Btw, I can see that you figured out where my little gift is, and I wanted you to know that the moment we realized you two were dating we snaked some of Bruce’s stash, so do you feel moderately worried now?” Jason asked. 

Clark laughed. Not the reaction Jason was expecting, Clark tell by his eyebrows alone. “I am not because as I told Dick, and I will tell you, I am not going to hurt Bruce. So I won’t have to worry about you all killing me over this, but I am keenly aware that you have all planned my murder well, and I am sure you could do it.” 

Jason grumbled, under his breath about annoyingly earnest Kent, ruining a perfectly good death threat.

“I heard that, Jason, now can you please take your box when you leave.” Clark smiled. “And anytime you want to eat cookies, and not talk about how much you care about Bruce, let me know.” 

Jason got up and grabbed the box, as he waited by the window he turned and said, “Seriously, though, Kent, you might be Superman and super nice but Bruce is more fragile then he looks, don’t hurt him, he couldn’t take losing you again.”

Clark sobered at that line, he knew his death had done a number on all of his loved ones but this was far more effective than any threat of murder, and Jason knew it. 

Clark watched as Jason disappeared, and took a deep breath, he knew he’d love and cherish Bruce, but knowing how much his kids worried about his heart started to worry Clark, just how badly had Clark unwittingly hurt him. 

***  
Clark had just finished a sweep of the apartment, it was just a precaution but when the batkids were involved, nothing seemed excessive. Confident that there were no traps or explosives, Clark took out his laptop. 

Clark opened his email, and saw one addressed from Barbara Gordon. 

Clark sighed. Here we go again. 

Dear Clark, 

I am so happy to hear the news that you and Bruce are dating. Me and Tim are just so pleased. 

Clark was pleasantly surprised - of course Barbara and Tim would be more civilized, he should have expected this. As he skimmed the next line, he knew he had spoken too soon. 

Dick and Jason have already made it clear to you that Bruce has a team of highly skilled people ready to physically end you. Now that isn’t our style. There are far worse things than death for you, Clark Kent. If we find out that you treated Bruce in any way that is undeserving, Clark Kent will be wanted for murder in every state, your bank accounts gone, or worse you will just cease to exist altogether, gone will be the life you love so much. 

Of course we hope to not use this option, but be aware the world has changed, and the Oracle sees all. 

Lots of Love, 

Barbara and Tim.  
Clark wasn’t beyond admitting this particular threat had him the most worried. Murdering someone was personal, it was hard and as much as he knew Jason and Dick would never have cause, even if by some shock of fate there was a reason, he knew that they didn’t have it in their heart to kill someone, but this type of threat, it had weight, it was impersonal, easier to do as you didn’t have to confront the person. It could be done in the heat of the moment. 

Clark called Bruce. 

“Okay, first of all, I thought you kept that Krypotian secure,” Clark began. He heard Bruce wince. 

“Look, I didn’t think they’d take it.” Bruce sounded apologetic. Clark wasn’t really mad, but the stuff was dangerous.

“But they did. Oh, don’t worry, Clark, you’re Superman, you can handle their threats.” Clark rolled his eyes as he plopped down on his bed dramatically. “All of twenty minutes ago, my bed had Kryptonite on it and Jason was eating my cookies, talking about how he’d launch my body into the sun.”

Clark could imagine Bruce cringing at that information. “Now that’s not even the worst part, your former partner in crime Barbara and sweet little Tim Drake promised to destroy Clark Kent, and not going to lie, that’s terrifying.” 

“I’ll make it up to you, and make it more clear to the little monsters that threatening you is off limits.” Bruce sighed. “Please don’t be mad.”

Clark laughed. “I was never mad, mildly scared for my life yes, but never mad. I have become accustomed to how the Wayne Household shows love and it’s never been what others call normal.”

“Still, I would never let anyone hurt you, no matter what.” Bruce said, with a little more feeling than Clark expected. “I will be getting that Kryptonite back, and rewriting the code that Tim and Barbara wrote, making it clear no second attempts will be tolerated.”

Clark sighed, he remembered how Jason had alluded to how Clark’s death had really hurt Bruce. He had a feeling the kids were more scared of that version of Bruce than him hurting Bruce. 

“Don’t worry about it Bruce,” Clark said softly. “Since I won’t be giving them a reason to use any of their fail safes, so to speak, let them have the comfort of thinking they can protect you. After all, that’s all they are trying to do.”

“Fine,” Bruce huffed. “I still might do it though, I hate the thought of you even remotely vulnerable.”

“I am the Man of Steel, I am never vulnerable.” Clark laughed off, hoping to sooth Bruce a little. 

“Ten bucks says I could make you vulnerable,” Bruce murmured, a different kind of heat behind that phrase.

“I’ll swing by the manor now, let’s see if you can earn that ten bucks.” Clark stated, as he dropped the call, and speed through the window fast enough to be invisible to the human eye.

Clark landed on the manor lawn, as gently as possible. Walking towards the front door, Clark smiled, he was so surprised how normal flying to see Bruce for more than just league business felt. Somehow they had already settled into a new partnership, Clark was sure. 

Clark knocked, expecting Bruce to be at the door, but little Damian Wayne opened the door. 

“Hi Damian,” Clark said softly, lowering himself to Damien’s height, normally Damian liked that, but he was glaring at him. Great, the final Wayne ready to threaten him. 

“So, Alien, Alfred informed me that you are dating my father,” Damian stated. Clark nodded gently. 

“I am.” 

“Mmmhhhhh.” Damian said with an air of disapproval. 

“Are you not okay with it?” Clark asked, very much afraid of the answer. As much as the others joked or were slightly serious, Damian didn’t trust anyone, and if he didn’t want this, Clark was sure that Bruce would put Damian’s happiness first, and Clark wouldn’t want it any other way. 

“Would it matter to you if I was not okay with it?” Damien asked, those keen eyes much more aware than any eleven year old had the right to be. Clark thought it was a test.

“Of course it matters,” Clark said. “I want to be a part of your family, so you have a vote.” 

Bruce had come to the stairs and he was watching with clear intensity, the answer mattering to him as much as it mattered to Clark. 

Damian stared at Clark defiantly for a moment, and then half smiled. “Fine, then. But I shall not call you father.” 

With all the dramatic flare of a Wayne, Damian nodded at Clark and his father and walked off into the manor. 

Bruce came down the stairs. “I think that’s official, you have everyone’s seal of approval.” 

Clark laughed. “It's official, then, we are dating.”

Bruce wrapped his arms around Clark’s waist. “Last chance to run, Clark, after all you weren’t even aware of the first dates, this is a lot….I know.”

It had started as a joke, but Clark could see fear in Bruce’s eyes. He might have joked about making Clark vulnerable, but clearly Bruce was worried. After all, the Wayne household was all or nothing. “I have never been so sure about anything.”

Clark gently kissed Bruce, trying to erase any worry that Bruce could have.

“If you’d like, I love to take you out tomorrow.” Clark laughed. “I’ll bring flowers, for sure.”

Bruce chuckled. “I would love to go out with you, Clark Kent.”

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted this to be a fun lighthearted take on Clark and Bruce's relationship. I love how push comes to shove the batfam always closes rank, no matter who it is.


End file.
